Friday, December 31, 2010

Here's to the New Year

I know it's kind of lame to do this, but come on, it's New Year's Eve. I'll only get this chance once a year. And we all know I'll do anything to make a list out of something. This year, to sound as less cheesy as possible, has been one of the best, literally. So here it is, a list of everything great that has happened to me in the year of 2010:

1. It's really no surprise that The Fluff War would be number one. But REALLY, why wouldn't you put this great war at the top of the list? I just never thought that sticking a broken jar of fluff in someones mailbox would suck me into this thing. It started as just a small strife where we delivered the jar to the other team, but now we're building things and making plans that need to have back-up plans and we have traitors and teachers that want to know what we're gonna do next. This reminds me, I need to do a fluff update.

2. Is it lame to put my friends as number two? Oh well, it's the truth. Becoming friends with Mallory and Taylor was probably one of the coolest things to happen to me. WOW, that sounded lame. But I remember the day Taylor and I became best friends. We were driving home from Elizabeth's Pizza and we had just shared secrets. I believe April 10 will be our one year anniversary of meeting each other. She stole my hoodie the first day I met her and we played Red Rover with about 20 other people. Sometimes she's my therapist and sometimes she's annoying the hell out of me. Together we go see crappy movies, get lost in Horneytown, go see Tyler Hilton, and about a million other things that are too much to name. Now I must speak about the ginger that brightens up my day. Joke. I secretly hate her. I can't remember the day we became best friends, but I feel like it was in the Creekside Parking lot. She's my Algebra buddy, my teammate, my Taco Bell friend. She spends more time at my house than her own. She made me obsessed with comics and I made her fall in love with One Tree Hill. Bob Lablaw was our first inside joke. Barnes & Noble, angry black chick, floating cars, fluff, Taco Bell, and watching movie trailers but never going to see the actual movie is our whole friendship. And this summer, WE WILL GO TO BREVARD!

3. Fables. If you don't read comic books and have no desire to ever pick this one up then I suggest you just keep scrolling down. Mallory let me borrow this comic a few months back and I instantly fell in love with it. It's basically all your favorite fables (Snow White, Big Bad Wolf, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Boy Blue) mixed into the rest of the world and kicking ass. This book is the reason why I love comics now. So thanks, Mallory.

4. Is it really no surprise that Nicole's name would be on here? It sounds creepy to say that you're one of the best things that's happened to me this year. But you're kind of the coolest person I've met without actually meeting you. Really I only put you on this list so someone would talk to me. But ONE DAY we will have a naked fairy bathroom together.

5. This one's kind of cheating since I started watching this show in 2009. But One Tree Hill is really the greatest show on television. That might be a lie, but who cares. If it wasn't for this show there would be very little music on my iPod. Really, the music is THAT good. If I had never started watching this show I wouldn't have Tyler Hilton, James Lafferty, Damien Rice, or The Get Up Kids in my life.

6. Fight Club. Greatest. Movie. Ever.

7. November 3, 2010 is still the greatest day of my life. Why? TYLER HILTON IS WHY! To not sound like a creepy fan is about impossible right now. I HUGGED HIM FOR GODS SAKE! And I did embarrass myself when the strange noise left my mouth whenever I shook his hand. Though he did think I was badass when I showed him the list of songs I sent Taylor everyday before the concert. TYLER HILTON THINKS I'M BADASS. And besides, how do you not love that face, Nicole? 8. Looking for Alaska. Really I should just leave you that title and let you figure it out on your own. But I can't and here's why. If you've never read this book then you're totally missing out on a little thing called life. I'm not saying all of this because it's my favorite book or because I want you to see it like I do. I'm telling you this because this book is about life, and death, and friendship, and all the things that can happen to us in such a short life. When I read this book I can see the expressions and bufriedos and the cigarette between the fingers of a girl who's too damaged to realize it. I see a boy who struggles to accept his feelings for the girl who doesn't love him back and tries to find the answers in something we've all forgotten about: religion. I see two friends coping with a great loss and questions that seemed to never be answered. I see the intensity behind each prank they pull and how the plan for the greatest prank ever is the only thing that makes sense to them. John Green is a mastermind because only this man could put together tragedy and humor on the same page. Really, if you haven't read this book you certainly should.

9. I've said this before, but if you STILL haven't heard of James Lafferty you're dead to me. I mean, just look at this man:10. Almost Everything I Wish I'd Said the Last Time I Saw You by WAKEY!WAKEY! Possibly the longest title for an album ever, but still a great album. I was with Mallory when I spent my gas money on this album in a city thirty minutes away from home. We thankfully didn't break down and get mugged. Buying this album was probably the greatest thing I ever did. Have you ever seen a CD in a store and want it so bad that you can't stop thinking about no matter how far you walk away from it? Yeah, that's how I feel about this album. Two more things I love about this band is that the lead singer was on One Tree Hill and his last name is Grubbs.

11. My furry mountain hat. It's probably made me the coolest kid in school...lie.

12. CAMILLLLLAAA. It only makes sense to Mallory.

Well, there you have it folks. The 12 things that has made 2010 truly great. Oh, and this video.

Predictions for next year?

  1. Eat Taco Bell
  2. Not fail at life (that one might be difficult)
  3. Take mini road trips.
  4. BE A SENIOR
  5. Eat more Taco Bell.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Human Centipede

Is gross. DICKS. I LOVE JUICE. OLIVE JUICE. I LOVE JAPAN. I LOVE.... HOT CHOCOLATE. TAYLOR'S STAYING THE NIGHT. WE WATCHED CENTIPEDE. LETS MAKE A HUMAN CENTIPEDE.*throw up* AGREED. WILL YOU MAKE ME HOT CHOCOLATE??? NO. 8===D WHY? TOO LAZY. HEY NICOLLLLLEEE. COME TO BONNAROO WITH US. OR TO CHLOE'S AUNT'S HOUSE. IT'S IN VAGINA. I MEAN VIRGINIA. I'M AFRAID OF DR. GERMAN GUY. SCARY FACE. CHLOE, LET'S GO TO TACO BELL. WE JUST WENT, TAYLORD.

HEY, I HATE A ROCKET TO THE MOON.

ME TOOOO. HEY, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:

IT SNOWED. I GOT A NEW LAPTOP. SHE ALSO GOT A SNUGGIE. LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM I WAS A LION FIXING A CAR. I HAD A DREAM CHLOE STABBED ME. TAYLOR, THAT WASN'T A DREAM. YOU'RE BLEEDING RIGHT NOW. HAHAHAHA ON YOUR BED. SHIT. P00P. REMEMBER THAT PART IN HUMAN CENTIPEDE WHERE HE CUT OFF THE BUTT? YEAH, REMEMBER WHEN I ENDED UP ACROSS THE ROOM AFTER THAT? REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE? YES. DUMB BITCH. NOW, HERE'S A PICTURE OF A SNOWMAN TAYLORD AND HER BROTHER CONSTRUCTED:
AZSWXDECFRTGYHUJKI

GOODNIGHT!


I'M MAKING CHLOE ON THE SIMS AFTER HER STUPID BROTHER GETS OFF THE XBOX. I AM ADDICTED TO THE SIMS. SIMMMMMSSSS.
SHE'S GONNA MARRRY TYLER HILTON, THEN I'M GOING TO MAKE MALLORY AND SHE'LL MARRRY JAMES LAFFF...ER...SOMETHING.. YEAH.


I am not ashamed to admit that I married JOSIAHHHHH. :D

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Poop.

Mallory and Taylor have been been bugging me about not blogging and it's been bothering me about how it's been a WHOLE WEEK since my last one, so here I am. I feel like I can't write a complete post without making a list. I also feel like I can't think of a complete thought without starting another one.

Anyway, here's my week: Monday, we had a two hour delay (I think. Honestly, I can't remember), I didn't get to see my black brother, and Mallory's parent took me out to eat at Mellow Mushroom where I found out that they're actually pretty cool. Tuesday, ....I don't remember. Wednesday, Mal and I went to Barnes & Noble where we worked on fluff stuff and I 'found' pot stickers. Thursday, school was closed because of the awful blizzard that rolled through the night before:

My school is dumb. But it gave me time to watch The Office. Friday, school was closed again because of ice. So what do you do when school's closed? Get up at 8AM and drive 30 minutes to a town you've only been to once in your life and fluff the other half of Team TD:

Don't worry, she got them down afterwards. On our way back home, Taylor texted us and so we dropped by and kidnapped her for the day. After driving to Target, the wonderful mall, Edward McKay's, Wendy's, Starbucks, and Best Buy we were finally done shopping for Mallory's parents. Now it's time for Taylor and I to shop for ours. Which will be another story on Sunday, but one that I can't share with all you inter-webbers.

But...I DID GET TAYLOR THE COOLEST PRESENT EVER.
Now to fill out this post that none of you care about here are some pictures:



This is one of Taylor's previous fluffs. It's comfy.

DAMN.

One more thought. What should I blog about? I'm drawing blanks. Nicole?

Oh, and thanks to Mallory and Taylor for blogging for me while I was on my 'week without technology'. They were kewl.

Friday, December 10, 2010

I'M BACK

BLOGGERS!
I've missed you! I'm sorry for leaving, but as you've read below, I kind of had to. I'll explain all of that in a bit. In other news, I would like to welcome myself back by saying cheers (raise glass of grape juice) to me.

Now, since technology has (kind of) been out of my life for the week let me share with you all my thoughts and adventures.

1. Taylor's right. I did cheat.
• I'm just too addicted. An addict has to WANT to quit something. I didn't want to quit technology. "I wish I knew how to quit you." Notice the Brokeback Mountain reference. Anyway, as Taylor said, if you go the week without technology my Journalism teacher will buy you breakfast. Since I cheated and she found out I didn't get it. What she doesn’t know is that after everyone was done, my friend and I went in the next room and ate all the leftovers. Who the fuck gives donuts as a free breakfast? I'm glad I lost. That's a shitty breakfast.

2. I MET MY LITTLE BROTHER ON MONDAY.
• He's Black! I'm sorry, you probably don't understand. I just started Big Brother Big Sister. Clear? We talked about his 5th grade girlfriend and how he's too young to marry her, but maybe one day when he's not so stressed out. He also likes Avatar: The Last Airbender and can walk on his hands. If this girl doesn't want him, I do.

3. Mallory got a job.
• While I on the other hand I'm going through the stressful and depressing process of trying to find a job. Mallory, I'm happy for you. I hope you have fun over there on the dark side (aka Kristine West).

4. Mallory also got her car back.
• Now I miss our car rides to school and Taco Bell together. But not the money I wasted in gas from taking you home.

5. Dear kid in my Foods class,
• Please stop wearing sweatpants EVERYDAY and talking to me AS SOON as I open my book.

6. I taught my English class about Transcendentalism.
• I actually read off a PowerPoint.

7. I suck at taking tests.
• Which would explain my D average in Algebra II

8. Into the Wild is a good book.
• I read it in a week and now I want to go to Alaska to see the bus.

9. McDonald's hot chocolate is super tasty.

10. I went to Barnes & Noble with Diamond Dicks (her name's really Crystal), Kayla, and Mallory and we read Ispy books.

11. I went to my old daycare teacher's house where he gave me a Canadian flag and tickets to a Beatles tribute concert. FUCK YEAH.

12. Nicole Gausch, I miss you.
• You shouldn't be this far down on the list.

13. While on my week of cheating on technology, I basically stalked Comme Un Patron's blog.
• Sara and Alex are two funny ladies and their pictures are kickass.

14. Mallory punched me in the face.
• Literally punched me. When I said "Mallory, punch me in the face." I didn't expect her to actually do it. This is the second time I've been hit in the face. Both of them have been by my best friends.

15. I'm officially going to start writing a book about the Fluff War and my life.
• Well, actually Mallory won't shut up about it until I do it.

16. DID ANYBODY WATCH THAT EPISODE OF ONE TREE HILL ON TUESDAY?

17. Mallory and I have decided that when my book gets made into a movie our intro song is going to be Girl is on my Mind by The Black Keys.
• The actors that play us will also be riding in the car as I jump over curves and almost kill us while the song is playing.

Now as for the rest of my Friday night, it's going to be spent watching Nikita and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Chloe is Dead?

WHERE THE HELL IS CHLOE?
Yeah, her face is really in there somewhere

First of all, let's have a proper introduction. My name is Mallory and I'm filling in for Chloe. Currently, I am a junior in high school, and a carhop at 'Sonic Drive-In', as well as a BAMF. When I'm not badassmotherfucking I like to sulk in my room and write poetry.

That last one was a lie.

As the wonderful Taylor Doyle explained, Chloe is SUPPOSED (She cheats. Oops, the jig is up) to be absent of technological luxuries this week.

So she left it up to Taylor and I to pick up the slack. Here goes something:

You may have heard in the news recently that many celebrities are 'digitally dead' to support AIDS awareness and raise money for those struggling with the disease. I thought it was cool that this tied in with Chloe being technologyless and it'd be a great topic for my big debut. While the million dollar goal for celebrities has already been reached there are still many people that need help.

Here's a quote from the Keep a Child alive website:

"There is a profound difference between living and life. Living may extend time for another day. But life is far more than sleeping and waking. Life is more than merely existing. And, although it would be easier, life cannot be bought in a pill."

At the end of 2009 an estimated 2.3 million CHILDREN in Africa
were living with AIDS. That's more than the entire population in Houston,
Texas.

If you'd like you can donate at Buylife.org. If you'd like to read more on the subject visit Keepachildalive.org. And in case you're curious you can find AIDS statistics here.

I promise Chloe will be back soon and you'll no longer have to read my 'serious topic' posts.

And props to Alex for editing Chloe's face into the Where's Waldo puzzle.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

This is a blog post.

Hi, my name is Taylor and I am one half of the infamous Team TD in the Fluff War.

You're dearest Chloe cannot use technology this week because she likes free food. Basically, if she goes this week without technology her Journalism teacher will buy her breakfast and give her extra credit. I bet she cheats.

Chloe and I are best friends and I record her videos of me and my mom dancing at 1 AM. If you watch when I run out I hit my door.... It hurt.



video

That's all I've got to say Folks!

DAMN THIS FUCKING BLOGS SPELLCHECK, I KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY OWN DAMN NAME.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Who's Ready For Christmas?

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that excited.

Is it me or does Christmas have a distinct smell to it? Like, peppermints and thousands of smiles. It's really the only holiday that has it's own smell. If you know me then you would know that Christmas is awesome because of all the candy canes. These are the cause of my gross, black teeth. That and not flossing. Another reason Christmas is so great (besides tree, presents, santie, family time, and no school) is all of the great, and some times lame, Christmas movies.

You know...












If you haven't seen any of these movies then you're stupid and not important in this world...that sounded mean. I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT TRUE. But no, really, here's your chance to catch up on living a happy life. But annnnnnnnnnnnnyway, I'm sure you're all just dying to know what I want for Christmas so you all can just rush to the store and buy me something.

No? OK then. BUT if there is that one nice person that would like to do that for me then here's my wish list:



























Is the unicorn too much?
In other news, my Foods class had to research about diabetes today. Here's what I learned:
  • Are you always tired?
  • Frequent urination?
  • Have you had sudden weight loss?
  • Do you have wounds that won't heal?
  • Are you always hungry and have blurry vision?
  • Do you have sexual problems?
  • Tingling in the hands or feet?
  • Are you always thirsty?
  • Do you have vaginal problems?

If so, then you might have diabetes.

I have five of these and they're not caused by diabetes. I don't get enough sleep because I'm too busy facebook stalking. I have blurry vision because I'm basically blind without contacts. I pick my scabs. I'm a teenager and therefore always HOOONGRY. And I have a problem once a month. So diabetes can go suck it for all I care.

Also...