My Rant

on religion.

My mother always told me that there are three things you should never talk about. Politics, sexuality, and RELIGION. But then again I always told my mom that I hate everyone and never follow by the man's rules.

When Mallory and I are hungry we go to Taco Bell and sit in a shady parking lot for hours, and of course we have conversations. Most are conversations on religion. Mallory doesn't think there's a god. Or she thinks there's a god, but she just wants proof of it.

Now here's my take:

I, for one, believe there is a God. I believe he put me on Earth and said "Do what ever the fuck you want and when you die we'll see whether you're right for heaven or hell." In my mind, we have one life and it's not as long as we all think. So why should we spend it following someone else's rules? I don't live by God. I don't go to church. I don't get on my knees and pray to him every night.
I wake up, get dressed, play Nintendo, eat what ever the hell I want, and go on with my day.

There's none of this, a.k.a things I hate about religion:

God vs. Gays - In my opinion, if being with another man or chick is what REALLY makes YOU happy then it shouldn't be ANYONE else's business. God says he loves every one. That should include gays. The Bible says we shouldn't get tattoos, or divorces. We can't wear gold or eat shellfish. The Bible also bans you from pulling out. Yeah, don't stick your penis in something if you're not prepared for the long haul. If you're gay I wish you all the happiness. Because, you sir or ma'am, have courage. Courage to walk out into this world and not be ashamed of what you really are. You go Glen Coco!

Another thing, I want to make this clear: I am in NO WAY bashing God. I am ENTIRELY complaining about people that feel it is their need to shove their religion down my throat with music, yelling, TV, and force.

So, back to this

The Bible vs. people who could really care less - I've never read the Bible, let alone a passage longer than two sentences. To me, the Bible and God are two different things. The Bible was written by a couple of Bishops who decided it was their duty to tell every one what God's message was. It just seems really long and pointless. It just goes back to what I was saying about me living my life to the best that I can. I feel that I don't need the Bible to help me do that. Now, when God comes out with a book titled "I'm God: read this shit" then, and only then, will I read it. Until then, no Bible reading for me.

Me vs. people who shove their religion down my throat - This is my biggest problem with religion. So you're really into God. Hey, THAT'S GREAT! But I'm not and let's keep it that way. I don't need you 'saving me' or helping me find Christ. You can't save me and do you even know exactly where Jesus is? No? Then shut the hell up.

The world vs. uptight Christians - We've all had that experience. You're sitting at your lunch table or in class and you're having a good time with your friends. You're telling that joke you saw on the Internet last night after you got done looking at your usual porn and you're about to get to the punchline when you say it. The most forbidden word in all of the English language. The dreaded f-word.

There's always that one punk ass kid who ruins the mood by leaning over and starts whining about your language. This is usually the kid who grew up and went to church every Sunday AND Wednesday. They're in the youth group and all of their friends go to the same church as them. This is the kid that's involved in E V E R Y T H I N G at school. Their parents are the kind of parents that want their kid to go to college and be successful, but are so blind that they can't see that their kid is a loser. This kid, my friends, is a douche. And they just love to ruin your good time by complaining about the language. Well, fuck you. What's worse than this kid? Being friends with someone just like this. Believe me, I know and I love this chick enough to censor myself when she's around. But she's also the type of girl that doesn't get mad whenever you let it slip.

Religion loyalist vs. Religion hypocrites - Also a big problem with me. I can't really explain this one as well as Mallory. So, introducing: Mallory. Or a note from Mallory:

Again, if you're a Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, or anything else your heart desires that's cool. Go off and pray to your God like there's no tomorrow. But please, PLEASE do not go and preach it in the streets or get on some lame-ass talk show and tell everyone what YOU believe in. Because almost 99.9% of the time you're going to look like some white trash bitch who can't seem to get laid. I didn't write this post to try and change your opinion of God or try to piss you off. Mostly I wrote it because I wanted to complain about something. So, enclosing, I'll leave you with my final words:

In my opinion, God put us on Earth to L I V E. He wants us to be happy and live our lives as best as possible, whether that's for him or not. He doesn't want us walking around shoving shit down other people's throats. Like penises.