Phil and Kyle

Mallory made me tell her a story one time.

It was 5AM.

I was half-asleep while telling it.

Here's how it goes:

There once was a giraffe named Phil. He was the tallest animal throughout the jungle. His friends name was Kyle. He was an elephant. He was also pretty tall in the jungle. One day, Phil and Kyle were walking the jungle when they come across a huge waterfall. Phil looks at Kyle and says, "Kyle, I bet you I can jump off this cliff and into the water and live."

Kyle looks at Phil and goes, "Nuh uh!"

"Yes uh! I'll prove it!" So Phil take a few steps back to get a running start and starts running towards the edge of the cliff. Kyle watches as his friend falls closer and closer to the water screaming, "No! Phil!!!!!!" When Phil hits the water, Kyle starts running down the water to see if his friend is alright. When he got there he saw Phil walking out of the bushes up to Kyle. "Phil, are you alright?" Kyle asks huffing and puffing.

"I'm fine, Kyle." Phil says. Kyle takes a good look at his friend and wonders why his fur is all dry...

"Wait, a minute....your not Phil." Kyle says.

"What are you talking about? Of course I am, bitch!"

"Look dude I don't know who the fuck you are, but where is Phil?!"

Then the bushes start to move and Kyle looks up to see a soaking wet Phil walk out. "Phil!" Kyle yells. "I thought you were dead." He then looks to the other giraffe. "Who the fuck is this?"

"Oh, that's my brother, Bill."

"Oh, Philll."

Fin.

It was much funnier when I was half-asleep.

1, 2, 3, 4...I Declare a Fluff War

Who would've thought that Marshmellow Cream Fluff could make my whole high school experience?

OK, So it starts with my friend Mallory (you guys know her as TheWall). She brought the fluff to school for our friend Taylor (FloatingAway), but Taylor didn't want it so Mallory gave it to her friend. He leaves it outside the Foods room, which Taylor just so happens to be in at the time and so she gets the Fluff back.

Taylor then gives it to her brother to put in Mallory's bag. Mallory puts it in her seat in band. Taylor calls Mallory out of class and our friend Austin throws it at her. This is where I join in. Mallory and I dug the broken jar of Fluff out of the trash can and stick it in a Ziploc bag before putting it in Taylor's mailbox.

Thinking we're awesome, we've officially declared war. Next day at school, I walk into my 2nd period class to have my teacher give me a present (seriously wrapped up like a present and all). Well...It's the Fluff. After class me and Mallory take it to the office to get Taylor called down, but that plan fails when no one wants to play along. So we go and buy a new jar of Fluff (shatterproof I might add) and give it to Taylor's Civics teacher to give to her. He does, with a cute note to go along with it. So Taylor decides to write me and Mallory nice notes saying "Good luck" and sticks them on our cars with the jar of Fluff. We go over to her house and hide it under her bed.

It's not over.

I was on a field trip today and we had a half day. That didn't stop Taylor. She made a scavenger hunt for Mallory. IN THE SCHOOL. The chick's a badass.

So now we have the Fluff again. Mallory and I are Team MC and Taylor is Team TD. We need to make shirts. This war is getting intense too. People are getting involved and we've accused some people of being spies.

But don't worry Team MC has a few tricks up their sleeves and we'll retaliate soon.

I'll keep you posted.

J-A-M-E-S L-A-F-F-E-R-T-Y

It's Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking juice out of the carton. I should get up.

But anyways...anybody ever heard of a man by the name of James Lafferty? If you haven't you're dead to me. My friend over at TheWall has and she's in love. We both are. He's on One Tree Hill and can play basketball like it's nobody's business. If you don't watch this show...get on it.

Secret of Life...There is None.

Here's what I've taken from my short 17 years here in the world...

We spend 6 years in elementary school getting ready for middle school.

3 years in middle school preparing for high school.

Then we spend 4 years in high school.

We take the PSAT's to prepare us for the SAT's.

The SAT's help get us into college.

We go to college to figure what we're supposed to do with the rest of our lives. That's 22 years of our lives already GONE.

After college we're expected to find a job, marry, have kids, and have our kids repeat the same cycle.

Can I ask where living our lives pressure free is supposed to come in?

Just a Few Things I Gotta Do

I hate calling this a bucket list and if you think about it it's kind of corny. But that's what it is. I won't list everything because that would take forever to type. So I'll give just a few.

Take a kickass roadtrip - I've been trying to plan this thing since I was 15. FIFTEEN. But I really want to get out of this small town and see what else is out there. I'm not expecting it to change me, but to give me more options to what I want my life to be like.

Crash a wedding - Yes, like the movie. Minus the whole waking up tied to a bed to find a crazy chick on top of me.

Live in the wilderness - If you knew me you'd know why this is ironic.

Go to Disney World - I'm one of the few kids that STILL hasn't gone to Disney World. I feel so deprived.

Drive a racecar - Because I just have a need for speed.

Dine and Dash - I mention this everytime I go out to eat with someone. NO ONE WILL DO IT WITH ME.

I'll give more later, but for right now that's all I got.

Let's Introduce Ourselves

I guess I should introduce myself...

The name's Chloe. Like in Clo-ee. Don't mess it up. Well this is my first blog and I have no fuckin' clue on how to do this stuff. I'll try to post something weekly, because unlike those people over at DailyBooth and Facebook I actually have a life. But...yeah.

I'm just your average almost 17 year old kid. I live in a town no one's ever heard of and go to a high school that's supposedly the shit. Junior in high school. Not old enough to graduate, not young enough to be my true crazy self. I like red and you'll probably never see me wear a white shirt (just because I don't have one I like). Don't hate on my music and I won't hate on yours. I read books, like good books, not that suicidal crap all the teen books are about these days. I have a Google phone, which as much as I hate admit it is never out of my sight. You may not believe this, but my mom's my best friend.

What do I want to do with this blog?....
well I hope to give you a little insight to my world - you know, the one of a normal teenager. I'll give you some awesome music and tell what books are the shit. I'll try to give my opinion on the world and my place in it. You'll probably see me pick five different careers for myself in the next few months and you'll most likely have to read my rants about how stupid people are.

But I'm a pretty awesome kid, so maybe you'll just might enjoy.