Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pointless Title for a Nice Post

In 1621, Pilgrims and Indians gathered around a table to enjoy the very first Thanksgiving. The holiday really began as a feast to celebrate the colony's first successful harvest.

But who cares about that, because last night MALLORY AND I GOT YELLED AT.

BY AN ANGRY BLACK CHICK!

Mallory and I have started this tradition where we go to Barnes & Noble every Wednesday and do our math homework, but we really sit and laugh at each other. But tonight was different. Kind of. See since today is Thanksgiving we got out of school early yesterday and had the opportunity to stay out late last night. So we go to Taco Bell (which we do every other day, literally) and since it's past ten we're forced to go through the drive-thru. Of course we get the slowest worker and neediest customer the world has ever seen and we're stuck behind this bitch for a good fifteen minutes. This causes us to think on our relationship and start screaming out all of our inside jokes so the world will know how funny we are. You know, "I HOPE YOU GET DIABETES!" and "SAM!" and "You shoes untied."

I'll admit we were being annoying and maybe we should've stopped after the car honked at us, but that didn't give the angry black woman in front of us THE RIGHT TO YELL AT US!! Really, who takes the time to stick their head out the window and yell at two kids. You want to know what she said? You REALLY want to know? Here you go:

"Hey, you guys need to shut the hell up!" *me shutting the hell up* "All I'm tryin' to do is get ma orda right and I can't do it with two little bitches screamin' all ova the place!" *me apologizing while trying to keep a straight face and Mallory basically on the floor laughing* "Yeah, you think your bad now, don't you? What you gonna do bitch? Scream again and Imma get up out this car and whoop yo ass!" *awkward silence and trying not to laugh* "Are you and your little friend gonna shut up now?" *giving angry black woman a thumbs up. awkward Taco Bell employee hands over food.*

REALLY? Really, angry black chick? You're gonna yell at two seventeen year old girls in a Taco Bell parking lot? How mature. There's a reason why me and my friend were laughing at you. BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I'll admit we were being stupid, but COME ON!

After they left we went back and apologized to the worker for being stupid and then as we're going home we laughed our asses off. It's one of those moments where you wished you had a time machine so you could go back and grow a pair and just yell at a bitch. We came up with all these things WE SHOULD'VE DONE.

1) Back talk the bitch.
2) Get out of the car and kicked her skinny ass.
3) Gotten her license plate number and called the police.
4) Play loud, annoying country music.
5) Get Carl to find out for us and go stalk her.

All of this could have happened if I wasn't taken off guard. I wasn't expecting to be yelled at last night at a Taco Bell by an angry black chick. I sure do hope you find this as funny as I do because I'm never going to forget this.

Mallory says that I need to start writing down all of our adventures and one day write a book about us. I might actually do it.

In other news, here's a fluff update:

As you know, Team MC made Taylor cry last time. We expected some big extravagant prank from Team TD. But do you know what we got? YOU WANT TO KNOW?!?! Taylor and I hang out every Sunday, so when we're hanging at my house I didn't expect Taylor to fluff me. Maybe I should've notice her bring in a hoodie in 60 degree weather. Whatever, I'm just not observant. But it's like a 11:00 and I'm getting ready to lie down and there's a box under my pillow. Turns out my own mom went over to the dark side to help out her precious Taylor. It was a lame prank and you know it, Team TD.

Now Mallory and I realized that we would have the fluff over Thanksgiving. Well if you've had fluff you would see the recipe for Fantasy Fudge on the jar. Now isn't that a wonderful thing to serve to your family on Thanksgiving? We spent Tuesday making fudge and eating Taco Bell and we left a note on the bottom of the pan saying, "You just enjoyed the sweet taste of fudge. While we enjoyed the sweet taste of victory. Bon appteite." And now get this, we get up early the next morning, drive over to Taylor's, park our car in a random driveway, AND HIDE OUT IN THE WOODS. Why, you ask? Because we need to wait for Taylor to leave. Well, we didn't expect for Taylor, her mom, and step dad to leave all at once.

Now what we do next is probably considered breaking the law, and it is, but maybe you shouldn't leave you doors unlocked. Mallory and I go in Taylor's house and put the fudge in the fridge.

Later, when I'm helping Taylor out after school for a wrestling tournament, her mom and Taylor spend the whole time wondering who put the fudge in the house. Apparently, I'm a good liar cause they never expected a thing. Team TD should remember next time that I'm an excellent baker and an excellent liar.

Now the Fluff War has gotten bigger over the last few weeks. There's a fan page! http://www.facebook.com/TaylorDoyle13#!/pages/The-Fluff-War/167116409986777

Team MC have big things coming. Don't worry.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and to all a good night.

1 comment:

  1. This was a gloriously entertaining post. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that you didn't disappoint me! You and Mallory our brilliant, fo real.

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